Damaged Goods
by Yodiiv
Summary: Set in Season 2, before Burt and Carole's Wedding. Kurt isn't the innocent boy many seem to believe. Being emotionally and physically abused has its consequences. Will Kurt be able to escape his personal hell? Or will a teenage rebel see the signs and save him before it's too late. Eventual PuckxKurt. Rated M for violence, sexual content and adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Ryan Murphy does.

* * *

"I'm not a bad person, I'm just drawn this way" – Jessica Rabbit

It was a noisy night in Lima, Ohio. Lima Heights Adjacent was buzzing with sounds. Dogs were barking at the cars filled with drunken skeezers and cheap floozies. Men were sitting on the porches drinking and laughing, while women were in the trailers, loading up needles of meth. This was a normal night in these parts.

A pale figure rose from the bed, straddling a much older man. Kurt lifted himself off the guy and stood on the dingy carpet floor. He bent over and started collecting his things as the man reached for his wallet.

"So how much was it again?" The man asked, casually flicking through a few large bills.

"It's the same every time I see you, $200 cash," Kurt replied, while slipping his arms through his D&G shirt. He pulled it over and glanced at the man waving his money teasingly at him.

"I'm not fighting you for it. You're going to give it to me, now," Kurt chirped at him, smiling innocently.

"Aww, what's the fun in just giving it away?" and when Kurt grabbed for it, he jerked it out of reach"

"You're paying me for sex, not giving me a present," Kurt snapped. He hated being teased and messed with. No bills, no thrills. That's what he lived by now, "unless you'd rather I tell someone about our little arrangement. Is that what you want?"

Even in the dark, the man's face grew visibly paler, "No, no, It's fine, here, just take it and go."

Kurt snatched the money away from him, counted it, and promptly took the back door out. On his way to the car, Kurt had that feeling again. The feeling of regret mixed with shame. It always reared its ugly head after the fact, never before or during the sex. As he fumbled in his pockets for his keys, turning the pockets the right way and snagging the elusive keychain, he unlocked his car and proceeded to drive away from Lima Heights Adjacent, a land of filth, drugs, and money.

* * *

Kurt reached the house and stood on the sidewalk. _Another night of this_, he thought, "How many more nights am I going to be alone even when I'm with someone?"

He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. A thought flitted through his head. _It's lonely at the top_. He sat on the curb in silence, before realizing,_ I_ _don't even know his name_.

This thought penetrated his innermost being, and he started tearing up. _And he's not the only one. Most of the guys I fuck, I don't know their names either_. He started to sob, and the tears flowed freely. Kurt had to compose himself before he went into the house. He needed a pick-me-up. _I only have a few left, but I need this_. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a few Xanax tablets. He popped one in, and gathered saliva to wash it down. He'd get a drink when he got inside.

He didn't expect his dad to be waiting on him when he walked through the front door, but he was always prepared. He'd learned to lie a long time ago.

"Kurt, where were you? You didn't even tell me that you were going? Carole has been through the roof in worry." Burt started questioning and didn't even wait for a reply before he started another question.

"Look, Dad, I was out at Mercedes' house. She and I were practicing a really good number for Glee," the lie came out like second nature, no shift in physicality, nor any vocal difference.

"Why are your eyes red? Were you crying? What happened?" Burt continued, wanting to believe that his son's absence was the result of some crime.

"It's nothing, really," Kurt sighed, "Mercedes and I were running through some scenes for our NYADA auditions, and we got pretty emotionally invested into it. I'm fine, Dad."

Kurt hated having to lie like that, but if his dad knew about anything in Kurt's life, he'd have a heart attack on the spot and write in his will that Kurt was not to leave the house until he was 40.

"You know you can always talk to me," Burt reassured Kurt as he wandered to his room.

"I know, Dad, I love you, too."

* * *

Once in his room, Kurt took a necessary shower, despite the Xanax making him feel a bit tired. He set the water to nearly scalding, in hopes that it would wash off the stink of the man he was with earlier in the night. As the water poured down his back, Kurt started to sing. His voice was soft, and he didn't want to wake Finn, so he kept the volume down, and hoped that the rushing water would drown out most of his voice.

**Baby, I've been here before**

**I've seen this room and I've walked this floor**

**You know, I used to live alone before, I knew you**

**And I've seen your flag on the marble arch**

**And Love is not a victory march**

**It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah**

**Hallelujah, Hallelujah**

**Hallelujah, Hallelujah**

**Well, there was a time when you let me know**

**What's really going on below**

**But now you never show that to me, do you?**

**But remember, when I moved in you**

**And the holy dove was moving too**

**And every breath, we drew was Hallelujah**

**Hallelujah, Hallelujah**

**Hallelujah, Hallelujah**

**Maybe there's a God above**

**But, all I've ever learned from love**

**Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you?**

**And it's not a cry that you hear at night**

**It's not somebody who's seen the light**

**It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah**

**Hallelujah, Hallelujah**

**Hallelujah, Hallelujah**

**Hallelujah, Hallelujah**

Kurt finished his shower and wrapped himself in a Louis Vuitton bathrobe and padded barefoot to his bed. He sat down and pulled his Macbook towards him and logged in. There were a few messages on his Facebook, but they were only Glee club members discussing what they were doing for this week. _Fabulous__**, **_Kurt thought to himself. He needed to sleep soon; he had school the next day. Sleepiness washed over his face, and he stifled a yawn. If anything, he felt better now. He kept a tally on his computer of how much money he had saved to go to New York, and he was one step closer. Currently, Kurt had around $11k saved towards his goal of $25k. He was almost halfway there.

Kurt's bed felt so comfortable. He remembered he'd taken the Xanax and was drifting away again. He smiled, but it wasn't a real smile. He had no pain at that moment, and it made him smile, even though he knew it wouldn't last. The pain would be back, tenfold and wouldn't go away as easily as it had tonight. The realization that it would never end upset Kurt, and he closed his laptop and rolled himself under the comforter and buried his face into the pillow. The moment of bliss was over. Sobs wracked him over and over again. He felt like he couldn't breathe. The memories came back to him. A dumpster. A slushie. A kiss. A threat. Kurt hated him. He hated what he became because of him. Ever since he left, Kurt knew that he would be back.

Kurt wasn't sobbing anymore. He was angry, internally feuding with himself. _How dare he have so much influence on me? I'm fucking Kurt Hummel. Yeah, I let him push me around. Yeah, he kissed me. But who cares now. I've had a lot of kisses since them. And since they don't feel any different, how bad was his really? Fuck Karofsky. If he comes back, he'll pay for everything. I'm tired of this._

And finally, having been spent emotionally, Kurt drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

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First chapter of a new fic. Don't worry, this will be a Puckurt fic. I have a really good idea of where I'm going with this. I just don't want to rush it. So please rate and review. :]]

Song: Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again everybody. I do hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I am writing this story for a particular purpose. I want to add a flavor of realism to the Glee world. Everything they ever displayed on the show that was dramatic was either made into a joke, or hardly enough to provoke the emotional reactions of the cast. I want this fiction to display the same characters you know and love in a new light, a more complex light that shows that they are people, and they make mistakes, and they live in a world where people are not one continuous consciousness, rather they are ever-changing highly capable beings. This chapter is going to be rough.

The themes may be highly inappropriate for a younger audience, hence the rating of M. If you don't like realism and things that actually occur in reality, then please don't read this.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Ryan Murphy does, and that's cool with me. I just like to write about it.

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Monday mornings hurt. First the sunlight pierced through the semi open blinds and seared Kurt's blue irises through his eyelids, next, was the excruciating task of getting out of his bed and into his normal morning routine. It took all of the slender boy's willpower to escape the solace of his comforter. As he found his way into the bathroom, he started to have recollections of the night before. Still feeling unclean, he turned on his shower and stepped in.

After his shower, he dressed in a black Dior Homme jacket and stone washed Scotch & Soda jeans. As he was lacing his signature Doc Martens, he heard a knock come from his door.

"Come in," chimed the countertenor, and no sooner had he said it when Finn came clunking down the steps, a bright smile on his face, and he looked, _dressed up?_

"Hey, Kurt. Good morning!" Finn said enthusiastically.

Kurt stood up and eyed Finn suspiciously. "Finn, you never dress up, and unless you just adopted a new fashion sense because I'm rubbing off on you, there is some reason for this. Does it have to do with a certain brunette midget with a squeaky voice that only dogs could love?"

"Hey, dude, that's mean, don't talk about Rachel like that!" Finn was a bit testy about this girl.

"I hadn't said I was talking about Rachel, but since you seem to bring her up in every conversation, yes, I suspect you and that tiny soprano are going to do something romantic? If so, please leave, I can't take any more of your mushy goo-goo romance. It's irritating," Kurt retorted, leaving Finn stunned as he walked past him and up the stairs into the kitchen.

Carole was standing in front of the stove flipping an omelet when Kurt sat down at the counter. She turned and smiled at him, gave him a slice of egg and he ate and chatted amicably with her until Finn came back upstairs. He looked a bit sheepish and kept glancing down at his food and over to Kurt with what could only be described as the face of a bloated, gassy infant. Uncomfortable, and embarrassed. If Kurt saw Finn's face, he showed no sign of recognition, or compassion.

Kurt grabbed his messenger bag and opened the front door, not holding it open for Finn as the clumsy boy sulked after him. Finn wasn't happy about Kurt being such a bitch to him. All he wanted to say was that he wasn't going to be home until late, because he was going to Rachel's house. Kurt didn't have to snap at him, but of course, Kurt had made himself perfectly clear. He didn't want to hear about Finn's sappy love life.

They drove to school in silence, Kurt didn't even want to play anything in his stereo. He was numb. He had an icy exterior, but he couldn't even feel the cold anymore. He was preparing his mind for the day. Vulnerability wasn't an option for him. Anything could happen, and he had no way of preventing it. The school loomed ahead like an omen. A curse, that he had to keep coming back to it, basking in it. Although, sometimes, he liked the bullying; it reminded him of how much stronger than these people he was. It was a constant test. He grew tired of it, but it gave him more opportunities to find new ways to cope. Kurt could easily write a book on all of his coping mechanisms. He snapped out of his internal machinations when Finn jumped out of his SUV. Another day in hell.

* * *

The parking lot was unusually empty. _This isn't right. Where are they?_ He hurried quickly to the front door and found that it was locked. Finn had just gone through, but in the hustle and bustle before class, Kurt went unseen. _Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!_

If running to the next nearest door was an option, he would have, but before he could even turn around there was a pair of hands on him, hand over his mouth, arm around his torso, and he couldn't move, the hand over his mouth was holding _what is that, a cloth? Oh…_

* * *

Kurt kept his eyes closed as he regained consciousness. This was atypical. He had been tied up. There were chuckles and low chattering around him, so he figured that there were the usual bullies. Azimio, Puck [although he hadn't been seen around the bullying scene lately.], Karofsky, and the other boys Kurt didn't care enough about to remember their names. _Something's wrong with this. Their voices are too low. Why did they use chloroform? Why tie me up at all? They know that I can't escape…Or can I?_

He decided it was time to face his captors. He slowly blinked his eyes open, feigning as if he had just come to. If he had been afraid when Karofsky had threatened him, this terrified him to the core. He was tied to a stake, surrounded by firewood piled to his shins. His captors were not the high school bullies as he had thought, and hoped. These were grown men. Rough guys and he recognized some of them. He'd slept with a few of them. He kept his composure, though he was quaking in his Doc Martens. A few of the men jeered at him, spitting at him, cursing him for tainting them with the gay "disease".

Kurt's mind was in overdrive, one second he was driving with Finn, and although there had been some tension earlier. He hadn't expected that to be the last they would see of each other. As hard as Kurt's mind was battling against itself, his innate desire for self-preservation won out and he started to look for ways to get free. His hands chafed against the scratchy ropes, but he found they were looser than he had originally thought. He happened to be able to dislocate his thumb joints, and this would come in handy.

A man came from the back of the_…what is this, a barn?_ And he was carrying a red metal canister of gasoline. Terror struck Kurt. His mouth went dry and he had about a minute until he would be charred steak. Kurt's eyes dilated, his breath slowed and his heart rate evened to a normal tempo. He dislocated his thumbs, and slid them slowly out of the ropes, the man continued to pour the gasoline as the rest of the men cheered him on. Kurt himself was splashed with gasoline. Kurt eyed the gas can, his arms still behind the post.

_I have one chance. Better make it count. _

Kurt used the post as leverage to pull his legs out of the pile of tinder. Then he brought his right foot down on top of the man holding the gas can. Kurt scrambled for the can as the men quickly realized what'd happened. As his hand latched on to the handle, a hand caught him by the jacket. He whipped around blindly, yelling, and carrying the gas around with him straight into the neck of the man. He grunted in pain and released his hold on Kurt. Kurt stumbled and hit his knee on the ground as he darted away. His legs wouldn't keep up with his brain. He continued to run even though his knee was throbbing and his heart was pounding. As his stamina waned, he realized that he knew where he was. Lima Heights Adjacent. He realized that if he were seen, he would surely be carried back to his execution. That's when it dawned on him. _I'm alive. I fucking saved myself. I didn't need anybody to help me, wait. That's not right. I'm gonna need someone to help me now. How am I supposed to get out of here alive? And even after this, who will I go to? Half of these men know the police personally. My story won't hold up. Even the gas can only has my fingerprints on it. They were all wearing gloves._ _I can't stay at McKinley, I can't stay in Lima._

He started creeping his way around the ghetto district, the same way he used to when he was whoring himself around. In the shadows, between the trees, behind the houses, concealed with ease. He stopped short behind a house and a small patch of woods. There was the final step until he was home free. There was no way he was going back to school now. He reeked of gasoline, and there wasn't much of an explanation to be had. He wouldn't tell anyone, he couldn't tell anyone. Ahead of him lay a barren expanse of road the he would have to cross to get to the tracks that split the Heights from the city. He clutched the gas can tighter, not afraid anymore about using it.

He walked quickly and calmly until he saw a movement to his left in his peripherals. He turned his head and froze. There standing with a cigarette in between his fingers, light baggy clothing, his mouth slightly ajar, and his eyes wider than usual, was Puck.

"Hey! Kurt! What the hell are you doing around here?" Puck was a bit dumbfounded, he wasn't friends with the girly dude, but he was pretty much bros with Finn, and that meant he had to at least act like a person rather than a badass. He started to walk toward Kurt.

"GET the FUCK AWAY from me!" Kurt screeched and raised the gas can in a defensive position. Puck immediately halted, completely thrown by this drastic change of character. And that's when he noticed the state of Kurt's appearance. Hair disheveled, seams of his jacket ripped. Scuffs on the boots, dirt on his jeans, and he reeked of gasoline. **_Gasoline?_**

"Kurt, I'm not trying to hurt you, Jew's honor," Puck said as he made the boy scout saluting gesture.

"Like I should believe you now, after all the times you lied to and abused me. You hate me. Don't forget where your loyalties lie," Kurt spat. His loathing was evident. He was no longer an ice queen. He was a fire demon. Vicious sparks were shooting daggers from his eyes at Puck. Puck stood his ground.

"So, you're gonna run home to daddy smelling like a Chevron station and tell him what?" Puck rebounded.

"I-I…That's none of your business, whatsoever."

"I think you're being stubborn. Finn would want you to accept my help when you need it. And you obviously need help. Let's get you out of the open."

Kurt didn't have a reply. Puck was trying to be nice. Kurt started to realize how strange he looked. Wild and feral. He was still clenching the gas can. He looked down at his hands, to see chafe marks from the ropes. How bad must he have looked to have Puck take pity on him. Pity. _That's all I'm worth now. For even a Neanderthal like Puck to have sympathy for me, it's sickening. He doesn't even know what happened yet. I'm so shameful. I should have stayed tied to that stake._

Puck waited for a few seconds, but when he saw a few dark spots appear on the dusty cracked earth, he couldn't wait any longer. He grabbed the can from Kurt and steered him by the arm into the house. Kurt tried to resist, but it was half-hearted. Puck realized that something serious must have happened. **_If he is accepting help from me, the guy who tormented him for shits and giggles, something must have really fucked him up. Why is he so dirty and scraggly? What's with the gasoline. Is he an arsonist Hah! That's hilarious, Frilly Little Kurt a badass firestarter! What a joke. That's not funny he's hurting, and I'm being a dick. Focus, Puck, what would Mom do? First clean and address wounds, then start emotional healing. Right._**

Puck gazed over at the pale, brown haired boy. A real wreck, with bruises beginning to form on his nearly translucent skin, and on a normal day, he had not a hair out of place, but now it looked as if he stuck his head in a blender and called it a day. Puck turned around to check out front before tending to the wounded boy in his living room. There wasn't anyone in sight, but as he shut the door, he could hear men yelling in the distance.

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**A/N::**I hope you enjoyed this new installment. I finally found the path I really want to go on. As it is a common concern, they are not going to be too OOC. I'm trying to keep them within what they would actually say in these kinds of events. Now as you know, hate crimes are still a huge problem. I wish to possibly open your minds to what reality is currently presenting itself to us as. This chapter was loosely based on a few events that have happened to me and a few of my friends. Thank you for reading, and please rate and review :]]


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